OK, now we’re just a bit scared by Manchester City – and their chief executive in particular. And, we hope (for once), AI.

We always knew City would come out fighting after the Premier League confirmed a guilty verdict for 114 of the 115 charges they’ve been facing for breaches of the league’s financial regulations.

Except he has had something to say in an address to City staff, circulated on Tuesday. A whole three-and-a-half minutes’ worth of something to say.

“I want to share some information related to the ongoing disciplinary process between Manchester City and the Premier League,” he begins. “A document has been made public with an opinion of the Premier League commission that is negative to our interests. I want to explain exactly what this is, the next steps and how we are going to continue to defend the club, and finally be vindicated in this process.

“This has gone for so long that it is important to remind ourselves that the whole Premier League case against us is based on a single false accusation – that the owners’ personal money was somehow and secretly put into the club via some sponsors from Abu Dhabi. This is just not true.”

🚨 | BREAKING: #ManCity CEO Ferran Soriano has addressed staff over the guilty verdicts, insisting the club will fight through every available legal avenue:

“The whole Premier League case against us is based on a single false accusation.” pic.twitter.com/63Pf9fsvGw

— City Chief (@City_Chief) September 29, 2026

Blah, blah. Actually, we won’t bore you with his full transcript. You can guess the kind of thing he’d be saying anyway. He calls it a “conspiracy theory” and so on.

What we’re really interested in is the fact that, across the whole three and a half minutes, Soriano… Does. Not. Blink.

Is he a man? Is he a robot? Has his ability to stare been artificially inflated like the club’s finances?

Or we can just go along with this all being real and Soriano genuinely making it through all that time staring at the camera to unsettle us.

There is no official Guinness World Record for the longest time without blinking, due to the risks of corneal damage, but if there was, Soriano might have it in his sights.

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TRY A QUIZ: Can you name every player Man City have signed after the 115 charges?