26 min: "Early days, so whisper it quietly, but United have actually looked quite good so far," writes Joshua Keeling. And he's worth listening to, dear reader, because, indeed, here they come again, Diallo releasing Fernandes down the left. The United captain (still) whistles a low ball through the six-yard box. Mbeumo can't telescope a leg to poke home. Anything on that, and it was in.

24 min: A pocket of space for Mbeumo in the middle of the Chelsea half. He advances towards the box, and releases Cunha down the inside-left channel … only for Cunha to take a horribly clumsy first touch, the ball twanging through to Penders. That was a big chance butchered.

22 min: Palmer plays a cute reverse pass down the right for Acheampong, who shoots when he should cross for either Neto or Rogers. He'd have set up a tap-in. Instead, he earns a corner that leads to nothing.

21 min: Both sides will be pleased with their showing in attack. The defences, less so. The crowd well into this as a result.

19 min: The free kick's sent long. Lammens comes off his line and flaps. Rogers can't poke home at the far stick, and United counter three on two! Mbeumo bombs down the right and curls a low pass into the centre for Fernandes, who is free but lashes carelessly over from the edge of the box! This won't end 0-0. It just can't.

18 min: … Rogers winning a free kick out on the other flank, Fernandes hanging out a lazy leg. Pressing's all good and well, but. Estevao prepares to swing it in.

17 min: Rogers robs Baleba on halfway, and advances on goal. He lays off to Palmer, who dallies before shooting, and is in turn dispossessed by Yoro. However Chelsea soon come back at United, Rogers nearly getting past Yoro on the left. He earns a corner, which leads to …

15 min: … Neto shoots low and hard from a tight angle on the right. Lammens parries, but only tees up Estevao, who can't miss from six yards. However, the young winger has been far too eager, and is needlessly offside as he slams home. United get away with one.

14 min: … Fernandes delivers. Fofana clears. Then Chelsea go upfield, and …

13 min: Diallo slips Yoro into space down the right. A low cross. Colwill is forced to bash behind for the first corner of the afternoon. From which …

12 min: Estevao again down the right. A dangerous dribble. He reaches the byline and cuts back, Santos intercepting just in time, with Caicedo lurking. The sun skips across the turf as well.

11 min: Estevao finds more space down the right but his low cross is hacked clear by Maguire. This doesn't feel like it's going to be a goalless game.

9 min: Dalot barrels down the left and cuts back for Fernandes, who rolls into the path of Santos, formerly of this parish. Santos opens his body and steers a shot from the edge of the box inches wide of the right-hand post. Penders had it covered. This is an open game.

8 min: Estevao drifts in from the right and looks for the top left. Well wide and high. Again, hats off for ambition.

7 min: Lavia take a quick free kick on halfway, hoping to catch out the wandering Lammens from super-long range. Easy for the keeper, but full marks for ambition.

6 min: Diallo launches United's first attack down the right. He rolls infield for Cunha, who would be shooting for goal had he taken a cuter touch. The ball instead clanks through to Penders.

5 min: Chelsea pin United back, Palmer and Rogers nearly opening things up down the left. Not quite. The home side on top, and their fans in good voice.

4 min: Chelsea are seeing more of the ball during these early exchanges, for what that's worth.

3 min: A rare old atmosphere at the Bridge. Saturday lunchtime pints! You see? We have photographic proof.

2 min: A fairly hectic and shapeless start. "The ghosts of managerial past are truly haunting this fixture," writes Michael Coppejans. "Will there be an exorcism or just a sad departing at the end of this one? Chances are neither as I see in my crystal ball a draw. Let's hope it as at least exciting for your MBM. Happy Halloween or Samhain if that is your preference!"

Manchester United get the ball rolling. They'll be playing towards the Matthew Harding stand in this first half.

The teams are out! Chelsea in blue, Manchester United in red. Just as it should be. Poppies on the shirts, with remembrance of the fallen very much in mind at this time of year. A moment of silence, then the Last Post, at the home of the Pensioners. Sleep well, brave souls.

Xabi Alonso talks to TNT. "We are back in Premier League mode, so it is the most important … today is a big one … [Estevao] is ready … he is needed … we expect a tough game … an intense game … we will need our best."

Michael Carrick speaks to TNT Sports. "There's no hiding from the fact we want to win games … today is another opportunity … a tough game … we've prepared well … the boys are ready … Bruno [Fernandes] is an important player … he's proved that for quite some time … hopefully we'll get the best version of him … he'll do it again, there's no doubt about that … experience helps … we've got a good balance within the group … we've had a tough time results wise but the boys are going into this game in a clear frame of mind and we know what we need to do … we can't control what [Chelsea] bring to the game … we've got to be the best version of us and if we're close to that we've got a good chance of winning the game."

Chelsea can reclaim fourth spot with a win this afternoon. Things are possibly not quite as bad as I painted them in the preamble. Erm. But vibes are vibes, and you get the gist. Meanwhile Manchester United would feel a lot better about themselves if they make their way up to 12th, 11th or even 10th with a big win. Any such progress for the Red Devils would only be guaranteed for a couple of hours, on this eight-game Super Saturday, but baby steps.

Both teams welcome back a fan favourite. Estevao starts for Chelsea, while Bruno Fernandes returns for Manchester United. Jordan Henderson is absent through illness, while Cole Palmer returns after suspension. Kobbie Mainoo is back on the United bench after a few matches out injured.

Penders, Acheampong, Fofana, Colwill, Pedro Neto, Caicedo, Lavia, Palestra, Estevao, Palmer, Rogers.
Subs: Sharman-Lowe, Barco, Welbeck, Emegha, Quenda, Gusto, Chavarria, Nicoll-Jazuli, Subuloye.

Lammens, Yoro, Martinez, Maguire, Dalot, Santos, Baleba, Diallo, Fernandes, Cunha, Mbeumo.
Subs: Darlow, Mazraoui, de Ligt, Mount, Zirkzee, Tielemans, Heaven, Lacey, Mainoo.

Peter Bankes
The welcome return of VAR, after a week in the League Cup when nobody noticed it had gone: James Bell

None of these lads have started the season as they'd have liked. Chelsea may be fifth in the Premier League table, but they're out of the League Cup, the fanbase aren't yet all in on formation-fluid Xabi Alonso, and as Andrew Beasley recently reported …

… their expected-points performance has actually been , who are themselves in all manner of bother right now. It's fair to say that both Alonso and Michael Carrick could do with a win this lunchtime, albeit those hopes are laced with varying degrees of desperation: a defeat would certainly turn up the heat on Alonso, but it might prove one misstep too many for Carrick, whose coat hangs heavy on the shoogliest of pegs. But then we thought that after the Bournemouth debacle last Sunday, and here we all remain. So nobody knows anything for sure … but be certain that the noises-off will get louder, louder, for someone, somewhere, after the result of this game is in. A draw probably won't help anyone very much either. Kick-off is at 12.30pm GMT. It's on!