Harvey Barnes tees up Joe Willock, who laces Newcastle into an early lead at St James' Park. Exactly what the Toon needed after their undressing at Elland Road.

Early-game postbag. "After missing three matches due to illness, Dundee United manager 'Super' Jim Goodwin is back in the dugout for this afternoon's trip to Paisley to face St Mirren. United fell to 11th in the table after midweek wins for Falkirk, Aberdeen and Kilmarnock, but only five points behind their hosts who are fourth. United could conceivably finish the day bottom of the table, or in the top six. The other three o'clock kick offs are Dundee v Motherwell, St. Johnstone v Falkirk, and managerless Hibs v Aberdeen. Crisis club Celtic face crisis club Rangers tomorrow" – Simon McMahon

"I'm an Evertonian, so I'd be backing the Toffees in any case, but a win today would bring extra joy because it just might give Ed Sheeran the terrible, no good, very bad Saturday he so richly and cravenly deserves" – Michael Weller

It's kick-off time! Play it, Mr Alpert.

The Premier League table. As it stands, going into phase three (of six) of matchday five. I think that's correct.

It's Brighton & Hove Albion's 125th birthday today! Well, sort of. The club were formed as Brighton & Hove United on 24 June 1901, in the Seven Stars pub, but quickly changed their name, and played their first game on 21 September that year. Which explains why their 125th anniversary celebrations are being held today, the closest home game to that date. So we're two days or three months off, depending on which way you look at it, and if you're so pedantically disposed. But that's not really the point. The club and its fans have been celebrating the fact all year, and here's Ed Aarons on a new play that charts the ups and downs and ups of being a Seagull. Enjoy the party, everyone.

FULL TIME: Tottenham Hotspur 2-3 Aston Villa. Villa restart, then the whistle goes for the end of the game. The smattering of Spurs fans still in the ground boo, Roberto De Zerbi disappears down the tunnel quicksmart, and the stadium equally quickly falls into bemused silence. The Villa fans making some noise, but a lot of home fans stunned at the latest of Tottenham's many humiliations on their own turf. This season was supposed to be a new beginning. Right now, it's the same old, same old. Daniel Gallen has all the reaction.

GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 2-3 Aston Villa (van Hecke 90+8). Andy Robertson swings a free kick in from the left. Jan Paul van Hecke plants a header across Zion Suzuki and into the bottom left. But it's too late, because …

The other two games in the Championship have finished. The full-time scores of the three early kick-offs, then …

FULL TIME: Millwall 2-2 West Ham United. The game that neither side wanted to lose ends with that box ticked, if nothing else. Millwall would probably have taken this at the start of play; West Ham would certainly have settled for it when two down at the break. More will surely be written, not least about Millwall keeper Filip Marschall accusing Hammers striker Taty Castellanos of spitting at/on him. Anon.

GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 1-3 Aston Villa (Gallagher 86). Another 86th-minute goal for a Gallagher … Conor this time. Which means Spurs have finally scored a Premier League goal after nearly five-matches-worth of asking! Although it might be an own goal, Matty Cash having touched the ball last. Not 100 percent anyone involved with Spurs will care too much either way right now.

GOAL! Stoke City 2-1 Sheffield United (Gallagher 86). Stoke have turned it around late, Sam Gallagher doing the business with full-time looming.

RED CARD: Millwall 2-2 West Ham United. On the halfway line, Mohamadou Kanté dallies over a simple pass upfield. He's the last man, so allowing himself to be charged down by Kyrell Lisbie is a disaster. The Millwall striker tears clear. Kanté has no option but to take one for the team, hauling Lisbie down and earning himself a red card. There will be five additional minutes at the very least.

Meanwhile in N17, Aston Villa's Emiliano Buendía has just planted a pearler into the top-left corner of the Tottenham Hotspur net. It follows earlier goals from Johan Manzambi and Nicolas Jackson, and Roberto De Zerbi's post-match interview is going to be appointment viewing. His coat on a shoogly peg. Daniel Gallan has the latest.

Hornicek, Murphy, Thiaw, Botman, Hall, Steur, Lewis Miley, Barnes, Willock, Fernandez-Pardo, Wissa.
Subs: Pope, Schar, Bamba, Toure, Thompson, Pivas, Salia, Mason Miley, Mills.

Tzolakis, Coyle, Ajayi, Egan, Herrington, Giles, Belloumi, Crooks, Slater, Thomas, McBurnie.
Subs: Phillips, Gelhardt, Hjerto-Dahl, McNair, Stroud, Gourna-Douath, Iroegbunam, Vaz, Cho.

Newcastle make two changes after being routed 4-1 at Leeds on Monday. Sean Steur and Joe Willock replace Amar Dedic and Nico Gonzalez. Hull also swap out two players, following their 2-2 draw at Chelsea. Lucas Herrington and forward Sorba Thomas make their full Premier League debuts with Elliot Stroud stepping down and Nobel Mendy out due to concussion protocol.

GOAL! Stoke City 1-1 Sheffield United (McGlynn 78). Another leveller in the Championship, thanks to Jack McGlynn at the bet365.

GOAL! Millwall 2-2 West Ham United (Mavropanos 80). … and now West Ham are level! They get to take a corner this time. They take it short. Manor Solomon drops a shoulder to make space on the right, crosses long, and Konstantinos Mavropanos plants a header into the top left!

GOAL! Millwall 2-1 West Ham United (Kante 74). Mohamadou Kante drills a low shot into the bottom left from 25 yards, and it's game on at the New Den. It's not all good news for West Ham, though: Millwall keeper Filip Marschall has reportedly accused Hammers striker Taty Castellanos of spitting on him during a rules brouhaha. Marschall had held onto the ball for 11 seconds, so while everyone was arguing upfield, West Ham, referencing the new rules, took a corner and Pablo walked it into the empty net. But the referee didn't penalise Marschall, so no corner, no goal … and now this.

Pickford, Maitland-Niles, Tarkowski, Branthwaite, Mykolenko, Armstrong, Garner, Johnson, Dewsbury-Hall, Grealish, Barry.
Subs: Travers, King, Keane, O'Brien, George, Dibling, Alcaraz, Hackney, Graham.

Walton, Ouattara, Diop, O'Shea, Davis, Lukic, Palacios, Fatawu, Enciso, Clarke, Emersonn.
Subs: Scherpen, Furlong, Flemming, Philogene-Bidace, Florentino, Greaves, Akpom, Nunez, Maeda.

Everton make one change following the goalless draw at Tottenham. Jack Grealish replaces Tyrique George, who drops to the bench. Ipswich make two changes after their smash-and-grab win at Crystal Palace: Christian Walton and Abdoul Ouattara come in for Kjell Scherpen and Jacob Greaves.

GOAL! Cardiff City 3-1 Charlton Athletic (Moylan 61). Jack Moylan re-establishes Cardiff's two-goal cushion in the Welsh capital.

Brighton and Hove Albion: Verbruggen, Kadioglu, Vuskovic, Struijk, Boscagli, Gross, Ayari, Gomez, Andres, De Cuyper, Kostoulas.
Subs: Steele, Hadjam, Rutter, David, Osman, Costinha, Svoboda, O'Riley, Yalcouye.

Raya, Timber, Konsa, Gabriel, Calafiori, Rice, Guimaraes, Saka, Odegaard, Tzolis, Havertz.
Subs: Arrizabalaga, Hincapie, Eze, Gyokeres, Madueke, Merino, Zubimendi, Lewis-Skelly, Dowman.

Brighton make two changes to the side sent out to thrash Coventry 5-0 last weekend. Chema Andrés and Pascal Struijk come in for Malick Yalcouyé, who drops to the bench, and Lewis Dunk, who misses out altogether. Arsenal also make two changes following their last Premier League match, the 2-0 win at Sunderland: Gabriel Magalhães and Jurriën Timber are in; Myles Lewis-Skelly drops to the bench, while Ben White is out injured.

… and of course in the Premier League, there's yet another debacle threatening to unfold at the Lane. Villa lead 1-0 going into the second half, and Daniel Gallen has all the details.

Elsewhere in the Championship, it's currently …

Charlton went two up after just 26 minutes thanks to Jack Moylan and Yousef Salech, only for Tyreece Campbell to pull one back soon after. Sheffield United meanwhile have just gone into the lead thanks to Kalvin Phillips on 51 minutes.

There's a fairly big game going on in the Championship …

… and it's HALF TIME: Millwall 2-0 West Ham United. Goals from Caleb Taylor on 16 minutes and Camiel Neghli on the strike of half-time, both coming as a result of West Ham's failure to deal with long throws from Lyndon Dykes. West Ham haven't won at Millwall since 1988, to be fair.

Live from Brighton, Merseyside and Newcastle, it's Saturday afternoon! Lorne Michaels would surely demand a root-and-branch edit, but he's not the boss of us so here are the big Premier League 3pms:

Other games are available, and we'll be covering those in what I'm confident you'll consider a charming scattergun style. Anyway, let's not hang about. It's on!